Bobby P. Leon, Sudan

I lost my two mums, my biological mum, and my spiritual mum. Mum is irreplaceable. When my biological mum passed away on June 5th in 2016, I was no longer whole.

When mum passed away, all my dreams plagued me whether fooled me into thinking she was still alive. Waking up and again remembering that she was dead was the hardest point of each day. I was not able to be near her on her death. Because I was out of my country studying theology in Cairo, Egypt. All my thanks to them in Sakakini Theologian Catholic Coptic College for their consolation and support until my arriving Sudan, especially the Dominican Congregation and Bishop Gorege Sheehan (bishop of Marooned Catholic Church for Egypt, Sudan, and North Africa).  Although my people consoled me, my sorrow was not consoled. From the day she died, I felt deep emptiness in my heart. I was not able to feel anything. It was very difficult not to be with mum in her last minutes, not to hear, listen to her last words, and not to bury her.

Then I said to myself that I still had my Godmother, Sr Josephine Pereira.

 When Sr Josephine Pereira was in her last moment of life, whenever I was able, I helped them to assist her. I felt that as if I was in bed beside my dearest mother. I felt a deep need to do all I could for my dearest Sr. Josephine as if I would have done for my mom. These helped me to be healed, to touch, to bless life.

But when she passed away in January 2021, her loss made me feel hard to breathe. That’s true until this time. She was my spiritual mother and her presence meant to me lots. I believe that by her prayer and my biological mum‘s prayers, I have survived.

Depression ran in my veins alongside my blood. The blood became rough and scraped up my heart. My life as a teenager went haywire. A feeling of deep sorrow remained in my heart after my mom's death until I could build a tomb for my beloved Sister Josephine. It was a great healing moment. I desired to do something good in my life for dearest Sr Josephine as to my mum. I am glad to have new saints in heaven. The doors started opening. May almighty God bless them.

Sr. Josephine, The Great helper
I searched for many things to fill myself up. Some were bad things, but many were good. Sr. Josephine used to tell me to read the holy verse “The Lord is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my God, and I will prepare him a habitation; my father’s God, and I will exalt him” Exodus 15:2

I missed her consoling words. She was one of my good people who helped and distracted me. I had the rest of my family too who gave me love. I would like to thank my dearest sisters of FMA who allowed me to be beside our dearest Sr. Josephine. I was feeling sadness and confusion. I could never forget her.

One Sunday after six months after the death of Sr Josephine, I heard her voice waking me up to go to Mass and to translate to the priest. I had to wonder if it was a sign from her that she is in heaven. I woke up and I cried hard. I missed her very much! Then I prepared myself and I went to the Church of Dar Mariam and I arrived exactly before the gospel and the priest asked me to translate the homily for him. From Sr. Josephine, I learned how to be a dad, mum, and a good Christian leader. Now I am taking care of my young cousins.

She was fantastic. I do not know if everyone could say that way about a nun. I am blessed to have had her in my life. Sr. Josephine Pereira was fantastic, awesome, loving, creative, giving, and kind. Now as I am an adult, so I understand more how great she was. I learned to give to others and be generous.

I thank my mum Sr. Josephine Pereira

Love and peace